One Cracked Birthday
by JudeDeluca
Summary: A small set of drabbles looking in on how certain Legionnaires, and villains, spend their birthdays. Contains a couple of crack pairings. Stars PG, LL, B5, Mekt, Ayla, Lyle, and Wave. A belated birthday gift to Pacer. Enjoy.


Disclaimer: I do not own Legion.

I felt bad when I realized I wrote a fic for a birthday gift to L1701E, yet I did nothing for Pacer's birthday which was a while ago. So, sorry this was let. Happy Birthday, Pacer.

I hope the abject amounts of sweetness make up for it.

* * *

Tinya Wazzo phased through the front door of HQ, exhausted. She finally managed to get away from the cocktail party her mother was throwing for her birthday. Senators and politicians and congressmen. B-O-R-I-N-G. She had to leave the party her friends had planned for her too early. Tinya didn't want to get her mom's bad side, after what happened at the party last year. How was she supposed to know eggs were flammible?

Tinya pulled out the hair pin which was keeping her raven locks held up and kicked off her high heels. With whatever strength she had left she flew into the lounge and sank into a couch. The lounge had been cleaned up from the party earlier. Right next to her BF, Garth Ranzz, in his PJs, or lack there of, watching TV.

"Hey Tin." Garth said happily.

"Hey." She moaned.

"What's wrong, birthday girl?"

Tinya looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"That party was an absolute bore. I had more fun being buried under the rubble when the LSV attacked."

Garth smirked as he got up and walked over to the light switch on the wall.

"Speaking of the LSV..." He trailed off.

"What is it Garth?" Tinya asked.

"The party may have sucked. But at least you can still whack open the pinata."

Garth flicked a switch, and down came Tyr, Esper, and Hunter, hogtied and gagged, suspended by a rope of inertron. Tinya happily gasped and glomped Garth.

"Oh, Garth, you shouldn't have." She said running her hands through his red hair.

"Happy Birthday, Tinya."

They kissed, as Garth pulled out a rack of whacking sticks.

"I wanna use the one with the rusty nails." Tinya asked.

"Whack away..." Garth said.

And the night was filled with the sound of bones breaking and happy laughter.

...

"Hello?" Ayla asked.

She looked out in the hall. There was no one there. But she was sure that she heard someone knocking. Then she looked down.

"Hmm. What's this?" The little red-headed girl asked, picking up a small white box with a red bow. There was a card attached.

"Happy Birthday, Love Cham." She read aloud. Ah, how sweet. He remembered. She slowly opened the cover of the box, when...

"Surprise!"

Ayla almost fell backwards when something jumped out of the box and started licking her face. She giggled when she realized Cham had transformed into a little puppy dog.

"Oh aren't you so adorable!" Ayla laughed as she hugged Cham in his puppy form.

"Happy Birthday, Ayla." He said.

...

"Brainy? What's wrong?"

Lyle and Brainy were enjoying a cup of coffee on the morning of Brainy's first birthday. Brainy had a look on his face which said he wasn't quite sure how to react.

"Nothing. I just, feel weird, that's all. It's my first actual birthday." Brainy said, tracing the rim of the mug with his finger, trying to further understand the human emotions that come with having a birthday.

"I know being human is kinda weird, but you get used to it." Lyle said.

"I guess." Brainy sighed.

"And since it's your birthday, I got you something special."

"What is it Lyle?"

Lyle took out a bunch of holo-vids from behind his back. The top had a big red bow on it.

"Ta-da! Happy birthday, Brainy." Lyle happily said as he gave them to Brainy.

"Lyle, you-Lyle!" Brainy gasped as he started blushing bright red. They were holo-vids...

Of Vi in the shower.

Of Kara in the shower.

Of Clark in the shower.

Of Kell in the shower.

"I knew you'd like like it." Lyle laughed.

And Brainy felt another human emotion starting to stir. In his pants.

...

"Mekt? Is that you?"

Wave sat inside her cell in Takron-Galtos. She had on restraints on her hair to keep her from acting up. On the other side of the cell, through the opening in her door, was her boyfriend, the platinum-haired Mekt Ranzz.

"You didn't think I'd forget your birthday, did you, Sussa?" Mekt asked with a cool smile.

"Well, I'd heard you turned good, so, I had low hopes." Sussa explained.

"I can't stay long, love, but the guards said it was okay for me to give you this when I explained the situation."

Mekt pushed in a box through the opening in the door where the guards would give her food.

"Oh Mekt! What is it?" Sussa asked happily as she began to unwrap the box.

"Something for your hair." Mekt said.

Sussa blanked when she pulled out a pair of gardening shears.

"Happy Birthday, Sussa." Mekt laughed.


End file.
